In which Sid and Doris play mini golf in a town with over 100 mini golf courses.
We leave Charleston for Myrtle Beach, which is home to some very serious miniature golf courses. Doris is very keen on crazy and Sid generally expects to lose.
On the way we celebrate Mr J’s achievement of 76,767.6 miles. Or maybe 176,767.6, it is difficult to tell. They built ’em to last in those days.
The first stop is Mount Atlanticus, where a small piece of Atlantis has broken loose and crashed into a department store, which, having been artfully re-developed is now a multi storey golf course with its own legend. Very nicely done with a clever mixture of indoor and outdoor space, and a convenient draw in our first round.
Course number two is the Captain Hook course where S and D play the Lost Boys course – chosen because it was the one without the large family teeing off. As you can see this is charmingly laid out with crocodiles nibbling the naught pirate’s bottom, which is very funny. Note the scary skull. Piratical Sid takes away the prize parrot.
That night we visit Broadway at the Beach which is a very good humoured version of Skegness with lots of T shirt stalls, sweet shops and other ways to part small excitable people from their money, and not a gaming machine in sight. There are stalls selling flags and Trump merchandise. We have see some Trump signs in yards here but this is the first MAGA hat sighting.
The following morning we set out for Professor Hacker’s Lost Treasure where we find another old station wagon. It is a 1992 Buick Century with 275,000 miles on it with a driver who loves to talk station wagons. (In fact, all the drivers we have met on this trip seem to love to talk station wagons, no idea why.) Note the carefully-size stick in the tailgate.
Anyway, from one Lost Treasure to another and it is time for more golf. A small train takes us to the top of the mountain where legend has it that Professor Hacker has been mining since the 1920s. While Sid tries to look like a relaxed holidaymaker the train driver recommends the Gold course over Diamond. Again, it is brilliantly constructed and very nicely kept. There is a huge amount of competition in Myrtle Beach and Doris has not stinted on the research.
Our final course is the Hawaiian Rumble, as used for the Mini Golf Championships. No gimmicky windmills to make the holes harder, just undulating greens with the hole around a corner, the other side of the water hazard or up on a slight but unforgiving plateau. Over 18 holes the course record is 31 strokes. After a few holes we catch up with Statler and Waldorf who have brought their own pro putters and balls. They are playing the holes more than once and are clearly regulars. Doris has her eye in and is triumphant. Oh, and there is a volcano that erupts every 20 minutes, but by now we expect nothing less from a mini golf course.
PS In case you were wondering why S&D were so impressed by Myrtle Beach, this is what a Mini Golf Course looks like in the UK when it is the only attraction in town (with thanks to Kent Online for their photo).
