Hermann’s Holiday via Obidos, Lisbon and the Covid testing station.

In which Sid and Doris see the Portuguese for Saint Cirq les Popies and have a testing time at Christmas dinner.

The Quinta de las Lagrimas breakfast would have got Jesus up on the second day. We are first in, mostly because Doris has booked us Covid tests for 1pm in Lisbon. No tests = no hotel & no indoor restaurant access.

The motorway is unbusy and we get the impression that the main Christmas Family Dash has been completed.  This means there is time for more touristing and we leave the motorway for Obidos. This is a fortified medieval hill town with its walls intact.

For added touristicable validation there are windmills ancient and, less touristic, modern. The modern ones obviously just spoil the view. Perhaps the neighbours 500 years ago were saying ‘nao no meu quintal’? It puts us in mind of other places that are no longer real places because of the tourist appetite for unchallenging quaint and bucket list ticking. Come in Saint Cirq, Venice….

Anyway, it is so pretty that the only shops are selling cherry liqueur in chocolate thimbles, small tiles and damp post cards. It starts to rain and suddenly a coffee stop is very necessary. And of course they have a necessary house. The rain slackens, the church (now a bookshop) and arch (still an arch) are visited, a pharmacy which has run out of Covid tests is passed, and before you can say cloudburst we are back en route for Lisbon.

After excessive deliberation between various fancy hotels in Lisbon, we have gone for a suite-with-terrace-and-view in the usually-reliable modern NH chain.  The logic is that if we end up having to be stuck in our room, it should be a pleasant room to be stuck in.

Getting from the main drag down the centre of Avenue de la Liberdade into the correct part of the parallel service roads would be worthy test of a Black Belt road rally navigator. After two loops of the complex system we are into the Tivoli hotel testing station with five minutes in hand and are last test of the day. We check in to our rather dismayingly prosaic NH Hotel and consider the matter of Christmas Eve dinner. The concierge (who is delightful, the staff in this hotel are far superior to the hotel itself) kindly works hard to find a restaurant that will take a booking. They are either full or shut. We decide to play safe and opt for the uninspiring and expensive Hotel Christmas Dinner.

Like old Lisbon hands – which indeed we are, having stayed here 2 years ago – we wander down past the railway station to the Baixa via outdoor cafe lunch as we do not have the tests to go inside. This is very charming with spargel and grilled sardines filling a gap in the day, if not truly the tummy. Next we try the local specialist cherry liqueur and splash out on having the cherries too. Most festive but you wouldn’t want a large glass, and coincidentally they do not offer it in large glasses.

Going back to the hotel we smugly pass long queues waiting for last-minute tests in pop-up test venues. Later in the afternoon Doris’ test comes through negative but Sid’s does not …..  come through at all.

Actually missing the hotel dinner might have been a blessing. But without the benefit of foresight Sid goes to reception and they say that due to the national shortage of formal tests, hoteliers are allowing people to do a DIY lateral flow test – and Hermann’s boot (un)fortunately contains a couple of NHS test packs.  Sid runs a test with no supervision and shows the receptionist the single-line negative result, which is then thrown away. (Next day the breakfast restaurant say that Sid could just have shown this again. Mmm, could have brought a negative test from home to use everywhere.  Still, at least people are trying to conform.)

We will not dwell on the price, ambience or quality of the turkey dinner. (Have you ever spent Christmas in hospital or prison?) We will instead remember the staff who were so pleasant despite missing their families. Mum, honestly I would love to but the roster has me working Christmas Eve. No, not everyone is like Sid.

PS And remember, last night was our proper Christmas Eve Dinner.  Tonight was just Friday night.

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