We Don’t Throw Nuthin’ Away; Help Wanted; It’s a Sign; The Land of the Mostly Free; Ductigami
We Don’t Throw Nuthin’ Away: I may have mentioned that Americans have plenty of space. So if you are given a piece of land the size of a football field (any type of football) to build your house on, there’s no big rush to chuck out old stuff – just put it at the back of the plot. A typical plot might contain: the original house and the newer larger house; the original garage and ditto; two or three sheds, three generations of RVs, four pickups, several barbeques, porch chairs in varying stages of decay, old farm implements etc etc. The game of “barn find” must be decidedly less challenging in America.
Help Wanted: Some nights we stay in fancy expensive hotels and other nights we stay in reliable cheap chains. They all seem to have something in common which is that they offer a bed for a night and that is it. Actually, I should correct that, the cheap chains also include breakfast. But at the moment across the US there doesn’t seem to be a single hotel which has its dining room open (if it had one) or makes up your room if you stay for more than one night. I don’t know if this is a Covid-related problem because everywhere there are signs that people are hiring. In Missouri you can get all sorts of jobs for $12.50ph; in Colorado Springs they were offering $20 + tips and fantastic benefits for waitressing. You could read or watch Nomadland if you haven’t already.
Its A Sign: Just when you think that the day is a little dull, you get a sign that cheers you up: “Hobbytime Firearms. Hospital next right.” And meanwhile, have I told you about the ubiquitous habit of having three or four line signs which you painstakingly assemble from CAPITAL LETTERS. The letters are black and the numbers are red, which means if you want to create a sign with a lot of “o”s in it, it can come out a bit multi-coloured, and the letters sometimes fall off. I saw one by a church where you had to pull out directly onto a busy road:
FIX YOUR EYES
ON THE LORD
and also, after I had seen “CH CH; WHAT IS MISSING?” (groan) was:
TRUST GOD
IN ALL TH NGS
I spent quite a while trying to work out the hidden joke in that one (although I secretly think someone may have pinched a letter). How about “I trust God in all things when I get lost”?
The Land of the Mostly Free: Sometimes you see a sign that makes you wonder a bit about local politics. We have already talked about the need to find a local motto (latest is “Carlisle County – Storm-ready county”) but there are also hints of conflict in the planning department. A while ago we had “The city of Lamar requires building permits” and now “Driveway connections by permit only”. I mean, these are standard things to require, but you don’t usually have to post a sign along a particular road saying so. Anyway, on the positive side I also spotted the proud claim “Syracuse KA Home of the USA’s first all-female city council 1987” and as an ‘est that is pretty good.
Ductigami: I saw this book in a bookshop which was sadly shut. It is called “Ductigami – 18 Projects to Make with Duct Tape”. Who needs a book when this blog has at least one and possibly more readers with fertile and slightly warped brains. Over to you for suggestions.