Problem: You are blessed with an inheritance. Your indulgent if eccentric benefactor has left you £250,000, the average price of a property in the UK (or $350,000 give or take a set of tyres). The will stipulates that you spend the money carefully on up to four cars. A garage will be provided. There are no requirements as to age or investment potential. The bequest will only be made if you have cars that you could use to tackle these Four Labours of Sid. (Sid is too idle to make up twelve labours.)
1st Labour: The Ski Trip Driving to a distant ski resort (Livigno/Colorado) in January. Something you don’t mind piloting for a lot of hours, perhaps in the dark and sleet. It could be a current car, you could just wrap up warm in your Midget or glide down in a Silver Shadow. It’s your inheritance, but the roads are long and the corners may be icy.
2nd Labour: The Grand Tour Taking a leisurely three month grand tour to Istanbul and home. A couple of hundred non-motorway miles most days, maybe hood down. It might be an elegant pre-war or a Caterham and a toothbrush, it’s your choice if you don’t feel the need to dress for dinner every night.
3rd Labour: The Race Going clubby racing; could be anything at the Silverstone or Le Mans Classic, a 750 Car Club or SCCA meet. A Citroen C1, very big grids and won’t dent the budget, or do you have your eyes on something more romantic and faster on the straights if not round the corners? Mustang, Camaro? Fancy yourself in goggles? Remember that to finish first, first you must finish.
4th Labour: The Long Distance Rally. Might be for the Roger Albert Clark RAC recreation or a re-run of London to Mexico. Classic Monte fare: Mini, 911, Fulvia, Escort … Mitsubishi Evo for the forest, a fabulous French Tarmac kit car from the F2 era or something more recent, or with better soundproofing? Do you want to be able to hear the applause at the prize giving dinner?
The only limits are a plausible £250,000 and up to four cars. First prize will be a ride in the Alvis, in the front. There will be a further prize for the best single car answer, one to do it all. The duly elected judges are Sid, Doris and “S” who will be holding the clipboard. Do pass this on to fellow sufferers who might find this more fun than another jigsaw or baking any more sourdough.
Please put your wise ideas with thoughts on spec and livery in the comments box. We look forward to reading the entry, the judging and prize giving.
Sid, Doris and of course, “S”.
So, for Labours 1 and 2, I would choose the lowly VW Bug. Oval window, please. They are terrific in the snow (I owned one in Minnesota), and they look smashing with a ski rack on the rear. On The Grand Tour, the rear seats carry more gear than needed. Typically, Bugs can be fixed with pliers, zip-ties, and duct tape. And when they can’t, parts are widely available. Surprisingly comfortable and yet keeps one involved in the trip. Classic, reliable, modest, and versatile. Price: £30,000 for an excellent one.
For Labour 3, I would most certainly go with a late 1960’s Mini. Maximum smile per dollar (or pound). Relatively safe, hilariously fun, competitive enough, and widely eligible. Price: £35,000.
As only £65,000 have been used for 1 – 3, I can splurge on a 1965 Ford Mustang, K-Code Notchback. Lifted slightly with oversize tires and beefed up suspension. Fast, loud, fixable, and chrome-bright Americana. 289 cubic inches making better than 250bhp? Fast on the pavement. Sideways on the gravel. Wheeee! Price: £185,000.