With more, regular, tourist traffic than the Outer Hebrides, Bothy hopes to see some good examples of tourist farming.
1. Tobermoray Car Park
Even for Bothy, this is a first. When we arrive in Tobermoray the street alongside the harbour seems longer and more spacious than Doris remembers it from a faintly shocking 20+ years ago.
And this is explained by an information board headed “The story of Ledaig Car, Bus and Boat Park”, which we reproduce here in all its fascinating glory.
Not only does it explain how and why the harbour-side land area was extended, and what the commercial justification was (a crucial qualification for any Bothy nomination), it finishes by saying that it “was acknowledged by the Academy of Urbanism who visited and awarded [it] the Great Place Award 2010”.
So they found whatever the Academy of Urbanism is, convinced them to visit and got them to stump up for a pot. That, my friends, is a class act.
A convincing entry for the “Most Unlikely Success Story” award.
2. The Isle of Mull Soap Company and Tobermory Chocolate Company
In a normal year this pair of shops wouldn’t excite any interest from Bothy.
They are picture-perfect tourist farms, with Farrow and Ball-painted shop fronts, sweet little chichi logos, a wide range of attractively-priced if slightly expensive goods with handwritten cardboard tags, and nicely-presented shop assistants wearing matching aprons.
But they are OPEN, at 4:45pm on a weekday in October at the end of the Covid Summer. Doris and Sid rush in and leave £15 in each one in exchange for some souvenirs which will have to be kept carefully separated in the Mini to avoid having heather-scented chocolate orange peel.
At last Sid and Doris can do their bit for the tourist economy. The shops are nominated for the “Yes, You Have To Let Them In The Shop To Spend Their Money” award. And it’s just as well that we arrived when we did, because they both locked up promptly at 4:59pm.
3. Browns Ironmongers Wines & Spirits
When you are setting up a shop, it is very tempting to try and offer a bit of everything so that any person walking past could find something they like in your shop.
Browns looked at that idea and said No! We want a shop which appeals to Real Men and s*d the political correctness. Actually it can appeal to Real Anybodys as long as they want to buy strong liquor, sharp knives, and a train set which you can play with while drinking the strong liquor and defending it with your sharp knife.
The “Know Your Audience” award was established for shops just like Browns. And no, Bothy does not know where the apostrophe has gone.
Bothy is not entirely sure what to do about this exhibition by the pier. Because although it is all terribly worthy, he didn’t really want any Nepalese crafts when he was in the groove of the Mull brand having just bought soap, chocolate, and a souvenir tea towel. So regrettably he is going to nominate it for the “Bucks Un-Fizz” award for conflating two great ideas (such as orange juice, and champagne) to make something that doesn’t quite work (a slightly sour drink which puts orange grease round the top of the glass).5. 6pm Curfew? Not here!
Since we have been on this trip, the Scottish Government have declared that nobody can serve alcohol or food (food except to hotel residents) after 6pm unless it is out of doors. Which is a pretty effective deterrent to reckless mingling as you have seen from other posts, and has resulted in a lot of family tourist groups eating nursery dinner at teatime. So Bothy awards maximum marks to Macgochans who have sourced some Tobermory-suitable-coloured popup tents and are carrying on business as usual until 9pm or later. Nominated for the “Compliant But Not Subservient” award for regulatory creativity.
6. It’s Otterly Fantastic!
Mull is very keen to promote its otters as a wildlife attraction, but the problem with otters is that they are demn’d hard to spot, being shy, nocturnal, ranging over very large territories and, when they are nearby, mostly underwater.
Which presents you with a bit of a problem if you are going to promise sightings to tourists.
So Bothy is well impressed by the use of a warning sign instead of a “wildlife can be spotted here sign”. And if you don’t see an otter… you can still pride yourself on having slowed down to protect them.
A top-class contender for the “Nail ‘Em To The Perch” award for suspiciously stationary wildlife.
7. 20p To Pee?!
Bothy, along with many other men of a certain age, likes to know where the next public toilet is. So he was extremely unimpressed to find that the Iona Ferry terminal on Mull is charging 20p for a visit – coin only, in a year when he has been actively discouraged from carrying any cash at all. Top marks to the lady running the pop-up cake fundraising stall outside who, when he asked for change, told him how to thread his way round the turnstile.
He has nominated this for the “Wooden Toilet Seat” award for most inappropriate commercial opportunism.
(The picture is from the internet from happier years, because in his keenness to explore the facilities Bothy forgot the camera.)