As we crossed the border into Scotland, the Bothy McWeevil Thistle Garden Challenge officially opened.
We had some candidates already identified for today’s list, and some unexpected contenders emerged during the trip too.
1. Hadrian’s Wall.
Disqualified from participating because by definition it wasn’t in Scotland. We took a photo of Teal on an embanked part of it and pressed on.
2. The Scottish Border.
Points here for style and for gently preparing the incomers for some serious tourist activity. There was a nice information board too.
Featuring only a small butty wagon there wasn’t really enough economic exploitation on site to make it a good candidate for the “Make Something Impressive Out Of Nothing” award, alas.
3. The Secret Scottish Bunker.
We were tempted by this one. However, living as we do in Bishop’s Stortford, we have already visited the Kelvedon Hatch Secret Nuclear Bunker. Which has the advantage of being dashed Nuclear. It also has more impressive signage and a more nuclear url (secretnuclearbunker.com beats secretbunker.co.uk). Come to think of it, it also won’t have to change its url if Scotland leaves the UK.
We secretly suspect they are both pretty similar inside. You should go and visit whichever one is nearest to you. The Kelvedon one is truly unmissable, in both senses of the word.
Both would qualify for the “I Didn’t Know I Wanted To See That And Now I Am Devastated That It Is Shut” award.
4. The Fife Coast Tourist Route.
This is definitely today’s strongest contender for the Bothy McWeevil “Fool Them Into Driving To You” award. In particular, the bit from Pathhead to Leven is viewless, slow and rather depressing.
Mind you, we are probably a bit grumpy because the Scottish Fisheries Museum in Anstruther was all booked up when we drove through there.
5. St Andrews (town).
The original Thistle was starting from St Andrews, so we went through the town so that we could take a picture of Teal there and send it with some words of commiseration and support to the RTG team, who must be completely gutted.
The guidebook was rather dismissive of St Andrews, so we were expecting wall-to-wall shops selling tartan, golf clubs, and tartan golf clubs. But it’s actually really nice – it’s a university town which feel very buzzy and of course right now has zero Japanese/Chinese tourists. And if you want to visit any tatterias (these are shops selling things like hand-blown glass floats made into decorative room dividers) then you will be in heaven too. So, sorry, but St Andrews does not qualify right now for the Bothy McWeevill “Cram The Coaches In Here Pointlessly” award. Try again in 2021 once your coaches:tatterias ratio has recovered.
6. VerdantWorks Jute Museum and RRS Discovery Joint Ticket.
We had spotted the Jute Museum in the guidebook but it is only open on Thursdays-Sundays so we thought we’d not be able to go there on our full day in Dundee. But actually because of the abject failure of St Andrews to create coach traffic jams, we got into Dundee 1 hour and 15 minutes before it was due to shut. Handbraking Teal to a halt in the car park we rushed inside… and a very nice lady told us that because it was half term week it would be open tomorrow too, and we could come back on the same ticket. And while we were about it, had we thought of visiting Captain Scott’s Antarctic ship Discovery, because there is a money-off joint ticket? Sid and Doris thought about it for about 0.01 seconds and fell over each other to hand over £37.30 and a GiftAid form. Sid will tell you more about it, at some length. I will only say that it has totally failed to win the “Screw Every Penny Out Of Them” award, because we would cheerfully have bought each ticket separately and probably also paid again for the return trip to the Jute museum. Jute!! Who would have thought it would be so interesting?? Not you, obviously.
7. The Home of the Dandy and the Beano.
Now, our American readers (of which we have one), may not be aware that children growing up in the 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s divided into those who read the Dandy, those who read the Beano, and those who were girlies. And both the Dandy and the Beano were produced in… Dundee! [A later correction: Girlies read Bunty, which was also produced in Dundee. How satisfying.]
An extraordinarily engaging museum which nearly made Sid and Doris late for the journey to Inverness, and it’s in a beautiful building designed by George Gilbert Scott. But it’s free! What are these people thinking about?! Sid says it is a fantastic civic amenity but Bothy McW says it is another dismal failure in the “Screw Every Penny Out Of Them” award. I mean, you could at least charge non-Scottish people admission.