Bothy is hopeful that the edges of the UK will provide some inspirational entries for his awards.
1. John O’Groats
Sid and Doris leave Thurso heading West. And even Doris, hardened campaigner and resister of cheap marketing techniques, is slightly tempted by the idea of making a 60 mile detour round Thurso – John O’Groats – Wick – Thurso just to have been to John O’Groats, the north-west point on mainland small m Britain.
Why? What is there apart from a signpost that probably cost about £500 to put up (plus about £5,000 a year to keep peeling off the stickers that people put on it, cf the Grand Tour)? It is simply because Doris thinks people will say “You went all that way and you didn’t go to John O’Groats!”
Bothy says: Marketing Homage!
There is a “Best Use of -Est” award for the attraction that tries to use its -est to drive tourist revenue. John O’Groats has set a high bar.
2. Thurso
“Thurso is Scotland’s most northerly town, and home to the country’s most northerly railway station.” A classic example of a run-of-the-mill entry for “Best Use of -Est” but not a winner.
3. The Northern 500
Apparently even Scotsmen rarely visit the bit of Scotland north of Inverness and the Great Glen. The “Northern 500” was dreamed up in 2015 as a way to create tourist traffic and despite some unhappiness at the amount and speed (both fast and slow) of tourist traffic generated, it is broadly seen as a success. Among its creative marketing messages is “Scotland’s Answer To Route 66”.
And it has all been achieved with a handful of little blue signs and some wily marketing. A classic entry for the “If You’ve Got It, Flaunt It” award.
Which leads us neatly to…
4. Motorhome Hire
As the first set of Covid restrictions were brought in, Bothy, ever one with an eye to commercial possibilities, thought that the market for motorhomes would be booming. But he hadn’t thought through the rental possibilities.
One reason that the Northern 500 is unpopular is that many of the motorhomes are rented and so are driven by people who are either excessively cautious or apparently unaware of quite how big their vehicle is. Bothy is busy with the calculator. It looks like you could get around 33-50% of your purchase price per season. Hmm.
An excellent entry for the “Jump On The Bandwagon” award.
5. Seal Spotting
Bothy saw this sign in Ullapool.
The offer is for a wildlife-spotting boat trip, with some very specific locations shown – the cormorants apparently glue themselves to one of the further islands, and the fish don’t move around much either.
There is, of course, some small print to the effect that the wildlife may be disobligingly absent, but it still is a contender for the “Nail ‘Em To The Perch” award for suspiciously stationary wildlife.