What do you think about when cycling in France?

In the whole Epic Trip, this is the first country where we’ve actually cycled here before.  So the Dorisian free-ranging mind has memories to draw on as well as its usual free association.

1. Old building adverts.  I love them.  I think eccentric art collectors should be buying up these buildings and shipping them home.

2. Santons.  These could be a rich source of #virtualsouvenirs – over the years I have spent hours with my nose pressed against santon shop windows.  Look at these ones, aren’t they fantastic?  The idea is that you construct a sort-of-nativity scene with them but include every facet of village life, and in fact don’t worry too much about including that manger and angel stuff.  What stops me buying them? I think it is a vague fear of buying them at the wrong scale.  Or just being overwhelmed by the choice.

Calisson.jpg3. Calissons.  More #virtualsouvenirs and in fact because they could be categorised as foodstuffs I could actually have justified buying some and eating them en route.  Only problem is that they are extraordinarily concentratedly tasty so you can’t snarf down a whole 100g in one sitting.  Oh and the other problem is that I forgot Rule Number 1 of Tourism, and I’ve only seen them once on this trip.  And already we are outside core calisson area.  I do also wonder what happens to all the little bits left over after you cut the calisson shape out.

4. French Road Engineering.  Even more than the Brits, the French over-engineer their roads.  See road, build kerb.  This is bad for us (we) cyclists as we are suddenly forced to mix it with the big boys in the 8′ of tarmac that is left.  Ungood.

5.  Explicit French Adverts.  I have no idea why this one popped into my head, but I suddenly remembered that a few years ago we were in France at the time of the Olympics.  Naturally every roadside advert suddenly had an Olympic theme, and the winner was a lingerie company who had a woman in their wares telling you that “You can light my flamme Olympique”.  And actually now that I’m typing this I also remember a shop offering “My little arbre de Noel” made out of bejazzle things, I know this is supposed to be a family blog but I saw it in the window of a shop in the main street of a town.  Maybe I should stop writing this now.

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